At the moment, I couldn’t hate all this fuss over Christmas as much as I do now. Bah Humbug! You Scrooge Bastard! You may say, but don’t forget, Scrooge wasn’t the only one ripping off workers at that time.
Fast forward to 2008 and Gordon Brown has told people to find work or they’ll have their benefits cut. Meanwhile, everyone’s being made redundant and British companies are going down the shitter. Great idea Gordon, very tactless!
But it isn’t just this fabled ‘Credit Crunch; that is nothing new to people who have been living in a council house, that has been getting on my wick, it’s the fact that people start to celebrate it about 6 months beforehand! Okay maybe that’s going a little too far but still having Christmas advertisements in September is every little bit as tactless as Brown, considering the current financial plight of those who borrow more than they can afford.
But don’t worry, there’ll be duels in the supermarket as people will be fighting over the last turkey, as pistols are drawn and hankies fall. And they’ve already got 4 of Bernard Matthew’s finest - each! Christmas doesn’t half bring out the nasty side in people, who you will always see shopping on Christmas Eve, despite starting their shopping 4 months ago. It becomes on obsession with them, no wonder people are moaning that they are in debt – STOP BUYING THINGS YOU CAN’T FUCKING AFFORD!
Maybe it’s a little bit of jealousy on my part. I’m not really expecting anything this Christmas, a quick fumble with a lady on Christmas Eve would do me fine but that’s just blind optimism! But why would I be jealous of people who get themselves into a tizz over buying expensive presents for people they have to work with? Secret Santa? Bollocks Santa, more like! No I’m fine with just buying a present for a couple of people and using my money to buy a couple of drinks for friends – isn’t that what Christmas should be about?
The meaning of Christmas is so far removed from the one that the church preaches but anyone that receives gold for a present, quickly loses favour with yours truly! No but I do feel for those genuine Christians (those that are not the ‘scary ones’, anyway) who try and practise their faith, when some fat slags in a hired limo drive past shouting and screaming, whilst drinking lambrini and on their way to a night out.
Christmas has now just melted into a money making period for unscrupulous companies, just like Easter has (BUY AN EGG!) along with Halloween (DRESS UP AND LOOK LIKE A T**T!) and Valentines Day (BUY YOUR PARTNER A CARD – OR YOU’LL GET DUMPED!), which are pure inventions by those said companies anyway. Its ridiculous, overpriced and the real meaning of spending time with your family and friends has now been replaced by a game of ‘who can buy the best presents’.
The only decent thing about Christmas is the drinking. But even that has now taken a nose dive, much like Kate Moss on a line. We’ve got ‘drink responsibly’ and ‘wear a condom’ ads everywhere – how the bloody hell I’m supposed to pull this year? Even Wigan’s Boxing Day fancy dress isn’t as funny as it was. The town centre management and the bars are now ENCOURAGING it, which isn’t what it should be like. It was far more fun when they looked on with a scowl on their face but they couldn’t do anything about it – with literally, 1000’s of people in fancy dress!
And speaking of my beloved hometown and their awful town centre management, it says it all when we have Luke from Big Brother switching on the Christmas lights. Blackpool have had David Tennant, we have had McFly and now some dick from Swinley! But why should they worry, the new multi-million quid, ironically-titled, Grand Arcade is doing well - while the empty, soulless, once proud Galleries is crumbling away. If you want to sum up my town’s management – look at the old town hall, half of it knocked down and the other half looking like nothings been done to it since the 70’s. Whilst across the road, the old police station is looking like a white elephant, whilst the council continue to invest in new buildings. I just don’t get it.
Money. That’s what Christmas is all about, its shame nobody has much of it anymore.
At the moment, I couldn’t hate all this fuss over Christmas as much as I do now. Bah Humbug! You Scrooge Bastard! You may say, but don’t forget, Scrooge wasn’t the only one ripping off workers at that time.
