Bye Bye Teletext

A sad event happened last week in the North West - the analogue television signal was switched off. Now we have to put up with 100’s of channels showing absolute shite. How can that be though? Surely more channels will mean more great programmes? Does it bollocks! The majority of the channels are pointless, the only aspect I love about digital television is the catch-up services and the IPlayer. When they work of course.

The sadness that I refer to, isn’t the loss of ‘council telly’ but for the loss of the best television invention since ‘Real Wives TV’ – Teletext. I hope that most people have fond memories of scrawling through pages upon pages of news, information, adverts etc that were all displayed on Teletext, or the BBC version – Ceefax.

I have fond memories of playing the quiz on Channel 4 Teletext – Bamboozle. The quiz was hosted by the insufferable Bamber Boozler, who always seemed too smug when you got a question wrong and had to start from the beginning. I loved playing it, well when I could play it - my Mum used to always play it before me and spoil it by asking me for answers! Weekends saw a junior quiz – hosted by Buster Boozler. This quiz was normally a piece of piss and was a two fingered salute to middle-class Blue Peter-watchers who’s Mummy and Daddy could afford them this new craze called the ‘internet’. Who needs it when you could abuse Buster and his Dad on Teletext?

It was great for checking sports news and scores. When I couldn’t get to a Latics match, I used to always check every five minutes for the score! I also remember me and my Mum staying up late to keep checking updates of Greg Rusedski playing in the 1997 US Open tennis. Shame he lost! Another aspect I liked, was that you could display the latest scores on the bottom of your screen whilst you were watching a program on the same channel.

A great story involving sport and Teletext was when Wycombe Wanderers were so short on strikers that they put an advert on Ceefax. Roy Essandoh replied and ended up scorer the winner against Premiership Leicester City in the FA Cup! A great story that just goes to show that watching television can do some good!

Another great aspect of Teletext was holidays - we even booked one once! It was a cheap, last-minute deal, which was a great surprise when you’ve come home from a tough day at school. Well I say tough day, I had more trouble from the teachers than the other kids! But just imagine what state the holiday industry on the interweb would be like if Teletext hadn’t have plugged the gap? I very much doubt you’ll be able to nab some holidays for as cheap as they are now.

Teletext may have been slow at updating stuff but it always displayed a great array of information. I don’t like this new digital text, as somehow it seems to be slower than Teletext, doesn’t display half as much information and it makes you reboot your set-top box on a regular basis! If you wanted subtitles, all it took was a quick press of your text button followed by 888. Now you have to trawl through your settings, which could take an age, depending on how good your box is! I hate digital television!

RIP Teletext